Worried

I feel my dad wants to force rape on me.

They won't stop getting complex in my life and leaving messages that pile up, my dad, who is kinda intrusive, in a way.  He seemed happy, in real life, but we just don't stop him.

I felt my right egg sack like it was about to explode.  I heard some cars go by.  I think they're catching onto the very fact I had my dad buy me my costume for Halloween.  Why not?  What's the big deal?  I'm sure other people have their parents buy them stuff...

I thought of something really nasty and perverted, that people reading into my privacy maybe would be "embraced" by my dad, in a way I don't like, that "feels like rape."

Ever since the n word thing, he's lost his respect for me, like he was waiting for it, like an excuse.

I was thinking lots of people call people the n word.  PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.  If you wanna get mad how Nell Burton was raised to look, you're ASKING THE WRONG GODDAMN PERSON.  :S  It seems someone is so antsy they can't take anything that reminds them of something, neither.  WHAT'S YOUR SORRY IDEA BARKING ON ME FOR THINGS I NEED, things I don't do often, neither?

Oh wow, I thought they all wanted me to do it.  She's a girl.  What does that mean?  Oh, were you so creative and stupid that you got that into my life yet ruined it?  People think also that calling someone who usually wouldn't be called it is better than calling someone on the streets that, but times have changed.

Now, I'm worried my dad is stupid enough to think he has to be the one to and that anyone would go out of their way to in a weird, complex way hurt a boy I talk to online from England...  He hasn't directly talked to me, in awhile.  He was suppoesd to.

So, what about it?  What's so special about this non-nigger girl?