Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Edit

Edit at the end: "when I have coffee."

Link to About Me section of my website: Link.

Website Update

"When I was little, I used to have this good tea.  It's hard to describe, but it seemed like this purest tea, this general, traditional, fancy, complex tea.  I guess it's kinda like coffee in how sorta it has that feel of something that rubs a lot.

For some reason, we stopped having it.  I remember for some reason always getting antsy when we had it.  It just happened.  I think my mom grew up having tea.

I started having it again.  The first thing I had, though, was a mocha, and I don't drink coffee.  I'm the least coffee person in the world.  However, I do like the smell a lot and when I do have a drink."

Cheese

Today, at Olive Garden, I had to put down my pizza because I couldn't take any more cheese.  I was known as a cheese person as a young adult.

Website Update

"I don't know much about alcohol, but I found that having food with it tasted trashy, after awhile, but I will still go back and have it, maybe.  At first, I thought it was the most divine thing, like."

Potato

White

I wonder if my brother will ever be able to look white.  I must have been through some rough stuff with my parents.  I know a lot of Asians stand more of a chance of being more European and intelligent in that way.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Ella

My Hand! '8^0

I feel that the influence of Renee Fleming or someone channeling her somehow, maybe through me being an experiment, again! made my hand feel like a person for some reason, you know in a disgusting way that is possible, I guess.  Needless to say, it's pinpointing key hot spots.  It was my right hand first, and it happened again.  Something adverse happened, and I thought that she made me turn on my dad and I used the word nigger in the same sentence describing the occurrence.

*Up*

Did you ever consider the movie Up?  It features a young Japanese or Chinese or Korean boy with an old English man who looks like he's gonna die.

I was thinking of my brother.  He is feisty and something of a devil who's calmed down later in life.  He thinks it's funny to be everything I don't want to be and test me for it.  What a ditzy thing to do.  Why didn't my parents guide him?

Oh, yea, and my mother wanted me to baby my brother.  She thinks that's what I'm for.  Well, he didn't listen and for some reason he wanted to be with her too much, though he was not accepting of her race, at the core.

So, it seems all these people are acting bad just to make you feel like you're better.  I shouldn't get in trouble for it.  I already don't want to go there but try to convince them otherwise.  People are so silly and think maybe I need to be bad like them.  What outlandish idea made that happen?  '8^.

The New Baby ^ ^

Ellen DeGeneres is weird.  She is like putting all this stuff over my head set to happen because of other people and the n word thing.

Well, I found that people realize what they did before this happened that was wrong, and that seems to consume them.

Like, I feel that she's like stereotyping me in bad ways like she's afraid of me.  I don't know, but it seems Kate Bush did that.  At first, I was feeling good from them.  Then, I felt them turn on me because of the n word thing.  Like, they made me unappealing, the same influence rubbed off from Tim Burton and the world looking like Winona Ryder.

I guess Ellen DeGeneres will never be her brother.  She seems to think the youngest should always be the cutest.  My mom seems to have made my brother feel more innocent.  Well, I'm a girl, and she seems to know about that kind of thing, maybe.  I don't really like to think I'm supposed to be like unimportant because I have a little brother.  I seem a lot whiter than him, as put in my website, like in my outward desires.

I'm mad at my parents.  They truly cannot control me, and sometimes they act like that's okay.

I think my mom really threw me away like trash, ashamed at what she did.

My brother was a bit feistier than me, for whatever reason, and not as fresh.  I guess girls are made to be more fresh, and people with older moms tend to feel more in a certain way though maybe may not have as much punch as some people.  You get it, it's complicated and too much to go into for me because I'm mixed.

Change the channel!

Ellen DeGeneres seems to be channeling negative energy.  She is cynical, and she may be aware of that, already.  Why wouldn't she be?

Anyway, I get the feeling she wants to reduce me to my brother.  She happens to have a brother, and he's more like what people stereotyped me as when I lived where she lived.

Who would want you to be exactly like someone else?  She seems to be well aware she has a fetish.

I don't know, but I don't think it affected me.  I just found it insulting.

New Videos of Me on YouTube 8^|

YouTube

A Shot

All my problems are caused by the n word thing, and before that people weren't as honest with me in their emotions and doings, punishing but not as much, still giving me something of a shot.

2 Peas in a Pod

Why do people think that doing "the right thing" or "what you're supposed to do.." 8^. is offensive to them?

^ Angel ^

Magic 8^|

I'm pretty sure I've seen magic.  One example is that when I was in college in Cleveland during Katrina, I was in bed and one arm was over my eyes, like glued to them, and the other forearm grew a foot and back in a minute.  I know it was magic because then I woke up and there were blood drops under my armpits.

Seeing Things

Your perception can protect you.

Holding Your Cool 3^|

Why are some people able to hold their cool so well?

My Eye! 3^(

Isn't it funny when you feel like a certain way sorta mapped out like you know when people cross their eyes?  One of my eyes sorta popped out.

Trying to Be Cool