* Fishing *

Why should we wait for other people in order to do something we like?  What if they never do it?

Meeting People

THANKS A LOT.  NOW MY BIG CHANCE OF MEETING PEOPLE IS RUINED.

*What a joke*

Why do people joke around so much with me?  They're not going to do the right thing?

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Tweet @TheEllenShow

I'm trying to narrow down my options.  I keep coming back for stuff.

I'll probably get tired of music, but I could keep coming back and singing old songs.  Eventually, I'd find new ones.

I can't concentrate well doing ballet all day.  I used to.

Just posting about Tim Burton, eventually I want to be an actor.

I tried to escape to music school but picked the wrong major.  Now, I'm too old.  After awhile, I didn't feel good and just felt too old.  I left the beginning of my junior year.  I also didn't get in a good major.  I guess it was a good thing I did what I did, might have been more relaxing some other way.  Now, I should think of getting out a CD.  Maybe, I should get a TV show on supernatural things.  And touching people.  That doesn't really match.  I still feel like a kid, though.  I like kids more and more, still.  I get to feeling like funny.  Maybe, I should be a singer.  I mean like Charlotte Church, except I am older and not from Europe.  I'm not looking forward to getting the rights.  I'm all over YouTube.  I didn't get much interaction there, but I'm there.  My voice isn't very strong.  It used to be, but it's better now.  I was supposed to make a Christmas CD a year ago.  I was gonna do it by the summer.  Maybe, I'll do some different songs and get a better background and do some dancing.  I wonder why other people don't sing.  Maybe, they want to see other people sing, first.  Something just escaped me.  I was gonna be a singer, then I decided to go to college, but I don't know why.  Now, I can't pick a major.  I looked at a college I was at and see I could go back and they offer Ballet IV.  They also took away Ballet I, which I never took at my college in New Orleans though was suggested to go back and do or maybe level II again.  :(  So, I could do Voice there.  I wish my parents would move there.  Oh well.  I guess I'm just worried about my health.  So, how do you watch TV at college?  I guess I could watch it online.  :)  I still feel kinda old to be seen in a college.  Maybe, I'll get a job at Disney.  I feel too old to be a performer nor be in the college program.  I could make a lot of money if I recorded a CD.  I'm not sure what I'll do if I don't go to college, but I don't like travelling around Orlando.  I just don't feel like working now.  The n word thing put me back, too.  It also handicapped me.

Thank you, so much, for your help and inspiration!  I still fail to see why Hollywood doesn't matter.  I'm tailgaiting Tim Burton.

Tweet @TheEllenShow

Hey, you could sit in my lap.  Why are you too big to sit in a lap as a tween?  I wonder why people think I'm small.  I used to have a big period when I came home from college, but the medicine made me lose it.  I'm eating a lot more, now, and that might make it come back faster.  I was even wearing senior diapers, all the time, and had up on my website that I always used wipes after using the bathroom, which I ended up using frequently.  I think my website was MySpace.  Sometimes, about other people, I have seriously thought on things like, I guess, you'd wonder, if I'd feel good sitting in their lap like when they touch me...  Funny when you're old enough to feel that, you're too big, and when you're younger I guess less social.  Maybe, it just took me awhile.  I grew up thinking you didn't necessarily experience those things.  I also grew up with the idea that you had to do something yourself to really do it others.  Also, we are all different, so it wouldn't be exactly the same.  I just get that feeling, honestly, when you bring that up, that I would want to sit in somebody's lap.  I find that popular people relate to me well.  So, it would be very possible, if I wanted to be small.  I'm trying to get big, now, and I could get small again.  Oh well, I don't know if I'll ever find the answer to my question because I'm 4 races.  I guess I have concluded that to like relate to someone you can't just be like big and bad.  You have to be like a good stature.  Eating a lot, you won't necessarily get too wide nor maybe tall..  I'm not sure how I'm structured, but I do seem to be fatter than I used to be and am certainly heavier since going up north and thinking my life was an experiment and having trouble trying to diet again.  I had fasted before and gained weight after that, as well.  I don't know why I'm still heavy.  I think I lack the good resources.  The food in Orlando is different.  When I moved to the New Orleans area, I had a fetish with Pizza Pockets, and then they didn't exist like before.  I used to watch Cats and have 2 lousy Pizza Pockets.  After awhile, they would lose their taste.  I also ate a lot of pasta, and my mom said it would make me fat.  I'm having a dessert fetish and may get diabetes.  I guess I can't diet.  I was gonna go eat now but I guess was excited to get on Twitter and may go to bed.  I found that older people tend to have a more physical stature, all the time, strange.  No one is smaller than me, totally, even my mom.  Her thumbnails are bigger than mine, and she's much smaller and shorter.  I think I'm bigger than all my aunts.  I bet my older one, who is shorter now, would carry me.  She never has.  Maybe when I was a baby.  Neither did the other one.  I don't remember sitting in my mom's lap except like on a plane.  I don't really remember much.  I remember her carrying me a lot when I was scared and hiding behind her skirt when I was a little older, 4 or 5.  After that, my life became very fake.  I think I remember how my mom felt when I was an infant.  She held me in a wrap.  It was just a big, overwhelming, not very feeling, feeling of bliss.  I think she's graduated, now that I'm 25|26.  That's how old she was when I was conceived.  8|  Maybe, you did, obviously, I'm sure find your way to those pictures I made, perhaps, I'm pretty sure, even, right away, of you fondling some people.  I find the practice stimulating, and it'd be nice to experience real life like that.  I'm finding that people are so robotic, but in the arts you find they're the kind you want.  I know you're pretty particular.  You have like well-behaved kids on your show, and you don't like touch people too much.  I am not sure why people in New Orleans don't touch much.  I know sometimes.  In Florida, I masturbated as a kid and thought of weird things first.  It was a little satisfying posting about Tim Burton.  When I was up north, I felt the most, but we don't live there.  I think I belong in the Midwest.  I'd like to find and help more people like you, though.  Well, both.  Wouldn't it be fun if we went there, unless you still just like your show and that's all and the people who go through it.  I'm just imagining stuff because I guess that's how I got into masturbating.  When I was up north, I didn't really relate to people physically, other than my relatives in Pennsylvania|New York.

Just *beep* my dad.

What's my dad doing now?  Punishing and torturing my daughter because he is a nigger and she is young?

Ellen DeGeneres, just shut up!

You seem nice on your TV show, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Fly

I turned on the light because there's a fly in my room.

What about my daughter's wedding and birthday? 8^0

Might it be up? 8^0

Interruption 8^|

Now, I don't feel all the thick, hard feeling I was getting because I got mad at my dad and blogged like crazy.

Nood Pictures of Me: Flickr! '}8)

Flickr

New Videos of Me Being Loaded on YouTube 8^|

Mainly Singing But the First Throwing Stuff Like Ellen DeGeneres on her show today :)

1 minute + processing left for the first one 8|

YouTube

So Sore

My pelvis and abs are so sore.

I'm tired of posting these bits of information! 8v

I can't let people get away with giving me these secret messages!  ...  They are mean secret messages and suggestive!  They are suggestive in a bad way.

Offensive Private Messages

Also, I was thinking of seeing the Irish singer with Orla Fallon who is having a baby with my aunt.

I was thinking of eating out, too.  My other aunt gave me some food, and I didn't get to go to the grocery store.  I didn't go again recently, for a week.  It reminds me of how a girl from a Barrett side picture had supple, condense legs.  From my other side, someone who died named Vivian when I Was little seemed weak, with some relatives who probably had, like others Scottish last names but not maybe more.  Thought I was gonna say something else, too.

This is so annoying.  I'm tired of these offensive private messages.

Edit

Edit

I mean thinking Ellen DeGeneres was causing bad messages by others, but it might be a reiteration of what's in my head.

Not Mad

Aw, I shouldn't have gotten mad.

I think my mom and Ellen DeGeneres supposedly channeling in things and thinking it's funny to be mean made me mad.  My mom made me feel like I wouldn't care about my future daughter a little and that it was funny I was just like a physical piece of shit.

Edit: I mean thinking Ellen DeGeneres was causing bad messages by others, but it might be a reiteration of what's in my head.

Pop

I just felt something physical on top of my head literally go pop.

Funny

Today, I didn't feel as sorta meshed with anyone but kinda felt like I was being touched, after I got mad.  Before, I found myself in a little bind.

Well, that's something like the goal.

I just felt it was a bit blatant.

I guess different people have made me feel different ways.  Tim Burton and Kate Bush being some of the latest.