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Ah!  I just wrote this, but it's kinda stupid.

So, I thought my life was an experiment.  (Ah, I'm antsy and agitated for a certain reason but will post about this for now.  :|  )  It went well, at first.  I felt like really smart and it was really fascinating.  I learned later that it had been an experiment all along and that I was to have a new life.  I never had that life.  I got madder and madder because I didn't have that life and my privacy was being taken.  I didn't really like anyone.  I grew to learn that well I would and that the world was more complex and magic, pretty much, very vast and multi-faceted, like maybe endless.  I didn't think people were real, and some sorta paranormal things happened to me.  I couldn't do the music history course up north.  So, I was sent home.  The next semester, the construction workers bothered me.  I wasn't given a refund and all right away.  Before, I wanted a chance to redo my courses, but no such luck.  Then, I felt tortured by clicks in my ear as I was walking like I would commit suicide.  I didn't tell anyone but about similar things.  This was the next semester.  When I was in 11th grade, I didn't think to get out of the class enough to convince myself to do it.  They acted like I wasn't good enough, and I wouldn't have as good a teacher.  That wasn't why I stayed.  I thought each night I'd get my homework done in time but didn't.  I stayed up way late.  So, I was kicked out of singing and music education to begin with, and that's why I couldn't concentrate.  It's like I was called a nigger.  Also, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  So, I was in general studies, which was harder than honors.  I went into Pre-Med Chem to be a Psychiatrist.  Biology was hard, with an Asian teacher.  Physics was the easiest, like Philosophy, which was way easy.  Well, the Physics labs were easiest.  So were the Chemistry labs.  There were no Biology labs.  I wish I did Biology II instead of Chemistry in high school.  I don't know if anyone did that as a substitute.  So, yea, I guess I began to deppreciate it.  In the end, I was just being brutalized by everyone I knew not telling me why.  I think it was for flunking, but my major was taken away.  I was crawling up to the Loyola office to get back, but they were mean and racist and stupid.  That was what I wanted.  True, I was thinking of not even going to college in the back of my mind when I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was coming out.  I was thinking of changing majors after a year, but I couldn't concentrate when my major was taken away forcibly.  They said I was sneaky, the music education person from Wisconsin.  I didn't make the first audition, for maybe music composition on piano and voice.  I wasn't prepared for voice and was trembling a lot.  I snatched back my resume.  I got in the 2nd time for piano and later organ.  I got the 2nd highest scholarship academically.  I started off a 4.0 student but had that bad semester.  I didn't really do as well in 12th grade.  I got a 4.0 at the Baptist school, though.  So, yea, I can't read what I just wrote, but you get the picture.