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The reason I'm eating so much is because I was thinking of my aunt and other people when they ate lots of juicy, good food.

Also, I should add my body feels kinda hollow but also in a weird way I don't like.  It seemed okay, eating just some healthy food.  When I got off track, eating like that felt disgusting.  So, now, I added bread.  I still just put one spice on my meat and vegetable.  I'm also eating sweets.  I went for like 2 years not really always eating sweets much at all and no snacks except like I guess that my parents left out Cheez-Its and also pretzels.  I guess I started picking out unhealty burgers.  Also, I was eating at Cracker Barrel a few weeks ago, and I realized I wanted to keep eating like that and so did.  That was the big change, the real reason.  I like the biscuits most and also the cornbread.  Last time I ate there, it was easier to eat because I was mad, but I didn't taste the food so much.  Also, I never liked milk and when I was mad I didn't taste it.  I was with my dad both times.  Well, I like chocolate milk but sometimes didn't.

Tweet @TheEllenShow

I do enjoy your show a lot day to day.

Tweet @TheEllenShow cont.

I guess I'm gonna try to go to bed earlier.  I'm not sure what would keep me up other than being restless.  I also want to watch some Halloween shows or at least paranormal shows, maybe more paranormal shows I want to watch.  I did want to go to Halloween parties.  I have been since 2006.  I could have gone to a step class for Halloween that year but didn't.  I was a glow-in-the-dark skeleton.  I was gonna get a Halloween or ghost book but have to wait to put money on my credit card if I do get one.  I was supposed to go out tonight but am not.  However, my dad is getting me food.  :|  I mean, don't plan on me watching your show.  I proably will watch it every day again starting Monday and watching the recordings if they recorded.  I will still read your posts online.  I also plan to improve my online life and talk to the other people who post to you.

Tweet @TheEllenShow Sick!

I didn't watch your show on Monday|Tuesday, thinking it was a rerun.  I realized maybe you filmed it sometime last week.  Same with Wednesday.  Thursday, I wasn't feeling well and slept in.  Today, I guess I slept in, again.  I'm finding, going to sleep at around 4|5|6 A.M., now, for some reason, I'm waking up not around 3 P.M. but around 12|13 hours later and then not feeling like doing anything important...  :|  Like, I'll just have some bagels and maybe a meal.  Somehow, my night wears on.  The thing is I'm supposed to be getting a device in which I can record your show in my own room, but I don't know when it'll arrive yet and will ask my dad.  So, I'll go to the grocery store or something, apparently, or be eating out and then come home, maybe post myself on YouTube and exercise.  I'll be ready to go to bed but stay up all night on Twitter or something, like I used to, and IMDb some, depending.  So, I hope to catch up on your shows, at least watch what's online.  Maybe, my schedule will change and I'll feel better.  I just realized I'm eating more now and that's why I feel tired.  I'm not really much bigger.  Gotta go!

Back to Bed

Dream

I was sitting in a light room.  There was a lady asking questions.  It was catering to ballerinas.  She never picked on me.

Also, I was upset at my dad and aunt.  I was having something done to my eyes.  The lady put liquid in her nose and then put it in my eyes.  Then, she never put in the eye drops, just that dark goo.  Then, a girl came in without a top.  I was getting the picture I was being punished and something about not being communicated to in the right way.

I was in the room with people answering questions based on what it's like to do ballet.  I was with my dad.  It was a light room with dainty tables.  We were about to go on a ride.

Before that, I was in a scene with a professor, like talking to him on Twitter.  I told him philosophy was easy for me.  He was talking about someone with my name.

Why O Why O Why

My dad won't stop making everything I think painful.  Well, he's nice sometimes, but I know my mom uses that as a trap.  Why are people able to wave a magic wand with me, particularly him?

Halp!

I'm still haunted by an ad I saw, thinking of Ellen DeGeneres, of a creepy tall, thin black lady like folding up a laptop!

Why is there so much focus on how I'm a nigger-

it wuz

the wrong page, showed up that way

fixed the link

Songs 30

*link*

A Foo'!

Why am I dictated a foo' to have a father bo'n in 1950!

Cleaning

So, I was just cleaning up some things, might get rid of things, too.  Maybe, find a place to put things, like in my old bedroom in the closet.  I'm looking forward to Halloween.  =^,,^=~

Being Physical

People only trust people from physical places like northern U.S. and from the Baby Boom era.  You have to be in the moment, like fighting all these things on the inside from the outside and covering every thought somehow, maybe pinpointing things.

How I Used to Eat :|

Well, when I was like 12, 13, 14, I used to have 1 or 2 bagels with butter for breakfast.  Now, I have like 4 with a good amount of cream cheese.  It's onion bagels with flavored cream cheese.  I'm this week having beef and squash or spinach.  I have biscuits available.  I'm having swirly, yummy Italian ice.  I have other desserts, quite a variety, but it's not a gingerbread house, exactly.  =}  I guess I'll get more fish next time.  I like the big fish with the skin you peel off.  I have some other leftover fish I need to freeze.  xp  I also have to go out and iron.  The laundry's stopped up, I think.

...

I just cleaned the food from my room, today|yesterday.

Now, I just have the rest to clean, maybe even get rid of stuff, again, have to social network better.  I'm pretty sure I'm staying on Blogger, but the categories is nice and for some reason I like to keep updates in a section.  The free website makers are unreliable.

New Video of Me Talking W|o Makeup 8|

Showing you my disgusting toes.  Oh, and w|o a bra.

YouTube

*crackle*

Oohhh xp

I cut my toe shaving!  80  I feel kinda disgusting.  I'm a bit fat.  I mean, I'm working out every day, again.  I started eating bagels and cream cheese. '8|  Also, now it's beef stuff and squash or spinach.

I'm loading a video of me talking and you'll see, but I'm not wearing a bra!  80