Spam! '=D

I said that you could call someone a nigger and it'd matter if you were older.  Why do you keep spamming me with stupid insults?

Well

Well, my dad has been affecting my life and my mom's life and probably my brother's and so has my mom because of the likes of his family.  I don't care what they think.  It's about me for me, and I deserve my privacy in that regard|way.  I like attention, but I also ... So, yes, my dad has been basing my life on his aunt because she talked to me and thinks highly of me.  It's about her inklings and racist ways and ways of thinking I'm different, for some reason.  He's beat me to a pulp without me knowing, just because he's mean or I dunno what "stupid."  I saw him one day with my mom, well, in my head.

Unimportant ':0

I solve things, but I don't like say I'm gonna not like it, in the end.  I'm not even about doing like the most best thing you can do, if it doesn't work out, and it doesn't.  I have health issues.  I have mental goals.  At some point in my life, I'm going to experience feeling good.  I'm sick.  I'm hungry.  I'm tired.  I want to be left alone.  I post online, though, and want people to come to me.  I wouldn't actually mind if I somehow saw people, but I need rest and time alone.  I know I do get a lot of that, though.  So, that's good.  It's nice to be alone.  I actually get bothered if I'm not, enough.  It would be nice to be reclused away, but I wonder how I could do that.  It's fun living a more urban gamed life, too, LOL.  ':D

Barking Around

My dad thinks that people older than me are to be babied, as well as made precious.  I know people are barking around.

What's wrong with you? ':0

WILL YOU QUIT BOTHERING ME AND HURTING ME?  I WANTED TO HAVE A REAL LIFE.  YOU'RE GETTING IN THE WAY.  STOP MAKING ME LOOK TACKY AND HOW I DON'T WANT.  IF YOU LIKE MY GRANDMA AND DAD SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU DO TO ME?  I'M NOT DOING THAT TO MY KIDS, NOT JUST LIKE THAT.  Wait, why does my perverted dad already know about this?  He needs to back off.  He knows I don't want him in my life like that.

Gay and Nasty and Stupid

That's just gay and nasty and stupid.  Why would you change how I look because you're too gay to accept that I do something that poses as like a risk?  But not really.  Something weird.

MY DAD WON'T STOP!

He won't stop suggesting it's the pinnacle of existence to damage the way I look and stuff, well stuff in general.  What's going on here?  How did that happen?  Why are you allowed to do this to me?  I guess I'll never have any real friends.  Well, maybe, but it looks like the friends I have are no good.  Well, that stands to reason.

Videos of Me on YouTube Done Loading

YouTube

My drumming got cut off.

I added a note.  :6

Nu Videos Being Uploaded

YouTube

Onto Others

Why do people get onto others who do one thing wrong?  And then people associated with them who are nice to them.  8|

I just thought of something weird.

Wait, no, I didn't.  My dad did, or his mom made him think it.

What's wrong with you people?

I have other things to do in life.  I already said I'm mixed and don't finish my Goddamn thoughts.

My Point

Why do people keep being mean to me for what I post online, when they don't really even look at it?  I mean, they said they don't.  I was hoping they did.

My Dad

Why does my dad make fun of me, like for when I was a baby, like it was tacky?  Why was I made to seem older than my mom, in a way, but more stupid?

Consensus

So, people do always have to come to some consensus.

Back to Bed?

Message

I got a message in my bathroom from my dad.  :I  We're going to a mental place tomorrow, just to say I'm okay.  It made me wonder if I'd stay there.  I wonder if he's jealous of my blog.  :6  He said I didn't have to go.  I wonder why I keep getting messages from my parents, like my dad, that make me think about it and seem to take up my time.  Why does he keep affecting me, making me feel guilty, and skirting around getting away with it, knowing it's wrong?  Anyway, he just ordered my Halloween costume, so probably it's just an appointment.  How gay, though, I closed the laundry loudly when my mom came home and then they just didn't forget about it.  She made me think of a chord stuck up a penis in association with a boy... and then I thought of a chord, yesterday, from him, on my stomach, and it still bothers me.  That's just wrong.  He's simply stupid or something if he doesn't "know" that and not nice if he doesn't really care about it.  He deserves to be severely punished because it's really bugging me.

That Special One

You can certainly rub in attention from my parents that I don't.  I'm 26!  :0  Don't you think I had my chance?  I'm just here for quality time with them but am not with them a lot.  (Ow, I don't feel so good.)  It is nice when they think I'm special.  I didn't really think I'd care if in your way you got attention from them.  I don't know about like thinking you're better than me other than for a good reason, but I never wanted any reserve from attention from them and thought I thought through what I could think through about my feelings.  Ow, well, I don't feel good.  Please, get attention from them!  :0  Don't be lonely, and I don't want them to not be with other people.  It might be funny to see me in a certain relationship with them, as well.  I just feel people are ticking at me.  Like, maybe things were okay, and now they're exploring how I really feel, even at 26.  :I  I pretty much just look mature as a person but not for my age, unfortunately.  I'm just a brutally honest person.  I guess I just must be conceited about being thinner and shapely much of my like teenage life.  I'm not that thin.  I'm not that well shapely and am trying to gain substance.  Well, that's another topic.  :|  I've got on with lots of overweight people.  They just seem more ready to sit there and think like I do.  I guess a lot of people don't.  Then, I get made fun of for not looking like an adult, but most people my age I thought didn't, though I don't know right now.  Gonna look them up al ... online.  Okay, probably will lie down for awhile now.  :|

Hair

Well, I know a good picture to put up.  I was thinking of hair, as well as hair color.  I know I got nasty on YouTube last night but am not sure what to say just yet except sorry it happened and I don't mean it, like just was trying to say something else I guess, just as an implication, for current events and judgements.

Anyway, I do feel that my hair was made dark on purpose.  I just had to accept it because lots of people have dark hair.  Same with skin.  I'm not sure why.  I mean, it's nice when it's like multi-faceted.

I've had both light and dark hair but not very light, so it's like it's black or dark brown.  I always noticed a big difference with most people.

However, it's been pretty both strong-colored and sometimes maybe somewhat, usually strong colored in the good parts of my life, like when I Was older and maybe some points younger, but sometimes tempered.  Still, usually very dark brown.  Or black.  Or almost black.  :I

Well, I think different colors of hair are good.  Lots of people have nice kinds of hair.  It's nice to have a good medium.  Or be some style of extremes.