Monday, October 22, 2012
What's wrong with you people?
I have other things to do in life. I already said I'm mixed and don't finish my Goddamn thoughts.
My Point
Why do people keep being mean to me for what I post online, when they don't really even look at it? I mean, they said they don't. I was hoping they did.
My Dad
Why does my dad make fun of me, like for when I was a baby, like it was tacky? Why was I made to seem older than my mom, in a way, but more stupid?
Message
I got a message in my bathroom from my dad. :I We're going to a mental place tomorrow, just to say I'm okay. It made me wonder if I'd stay there. I wonder if he's jealous of my blog. :6 He said I didn't have to go. I wonder why I keep getting messages from my parents, like my dad, that make me think about it and seem to take up my time. Why does he keep affecting me, making me feel guilty, and skirting around getting away with it, knowing it's wrong? Anyway, he just ordered my Halloween costume, so probably it's just an appointment. How gay, though, I closed the laundry loudly when my mom came home and then they just didn't forget about it. She made me think of a chord stuck up a penis in association with a boy... and then I thought of a chord, yesterday, from him, on my stomach, and it still bothers me. That's just wrong. He's simply stupid or something if he doesn't "know" that and not nice if he doesn't really care about it. He deserves to be severely punished because it's really bugging me.
That Special One
You can certainly rub in attention from my parents that I don't. I'm 26! :0 Don't you think I had my chance? I'm just here for quality time with them but am not with them a lot. (Ow, I don't feel so good.) It is nice when they think I'm special. I didn't really think I'd care if in your way you got attention from them. I don't know about like thinking you're better than me other than for a good reason, but I never wanted any reserve from attention from them and thought I thought through what I could think through about my feelings. Ow, well, I don't feel good. Please, get attention from them! :0 Don't be lonely, and I don't want them to not be with other people. It might be funny to see me in a certain relationship with them, as well. I just feel people are ticking at me. Like, maybe things were okay, and now they're exploring how I really feel, even at 26. :I I pretty much just look mature as a person but not for my age, unfortunately. I'm just a brutally honest person. I guess I just must be conceited about being thinner and shapely much of my like teenage life. I'm not that thin. I'm not that well shapely and am trying to gain substance. Well, that's another topic. :| I've got on with lots of overweight people. They just seem more ready to sit there and think like I do. I guess a lot of people don't. Then, I get made fun of for not looking like an adult, but most people my age I thought didn't, though I don't know right now. Gonna look them up al ... online. Okay, probably will lie down for awhile now. :|
Hair
Well, I know a good picture to put up. I was thinking of hair, as well as hair color. I know I got nasty on YouTube last night but am not sure what to say just yet except sorry it happened and I don't mean it, like just was trying to say something else I guess, just as an implication, for current events and judgements.
Anyway, I do feel that my hair was made dark on purpose. I just had to accept it because lots of people have dark hair. Same with skin. I'm not sure why. I mean, it's nice when it's like multi-faceted.
I've had both light and dark hair but not very light, so it's like it's black or dark brown. I always noticed a big difference with most people.
However, it's been pretty both strong-colored and sometimes maybe somewhat, usually strong colored in the good parts of my life, like when I Was older and maybe some points younger, but sometimes tempered. Still, usually very dark brown. Or black. Or almost black. :I
Well, I think different colors of hair are good. Lots of people have nice kinds of hair. It's nice to have a good medium. Or be some style of extremes.
Anyway, I do feel that my hair was made dark on purpose. I just had to accept it because lots of people have dark hair. Same with skin. I'm not sure why. I mean, it's nice when it's like multi-faceted.
I've had both light and dark hair but not very light, so it's like it's black or dark brown. I always noticed a big difference with most people.
However, it's been pretty both strong-colored and sometimes maybe somewhat, usually strong colored in the good parts of my life, like when I Was older and maybe some points younger, but sometimes tempered. Still, usually very dark brown. Or black. Or almost black. :I
Well, I think different colors of hair are good. Lots of people have nice kinds of hair. It's nice to have a good medium. Or be some style of extremes.
Argh!
I just woke up, and my parents already woke up. I feel kinda bad. I guess I shouldn't have sweets between my meal. :( I had a dream but didn't feel like writing it. I liked it, but it was a little vague but had lots of intellectual connections.. Back to bed? Shower when they leave?
I think they're sore "about Nell Burton." Why is she so pampered? I sense an escalation. Oh, let's just make an exception and kid around. Let's not even do the right thing for her, sarcastically, no! Why not give eery child the best? Don't go crazy.
Wah! Feel groggy. What have I eaten? I had 4 bagels with cream cheese. 8I Finished a lot of it. Do I need to diet or something? I don't know, maybe not right now. I'm hunngry.
I think they're sore "about Nell Burton." Why is she so pampered? I sense an escalation. Oh, let's just make an exception and kid around. Let's not even do the right thing for her, sarcastically, no! Why not give eery child the best? Don't go crazy.
Wah! Feel groggy. What have I eaten? I had 4 bagels with cream cheese. 8I Finished a lot of it. Do I need to diet or something? I don't know, maybe not right now. I'm hunngry.
Nell Burton
Wow, Nell Burton used to want attention for wanting to be dirty. I see she went to school and grew up. She does seem stimulated a lot but in an intellectual way, kinda like Ellen DeGeneres but not really...
Bitter
Why do people who aren't like white|Caucasian plan out everything so much and then get bitter?
What a Waste of Time
Hm. I think that Ellen DeGeneres is playing around with Nell Burton, thinking she deserves to be like her in a good way. Nell Burton can't get over herself, not literally, but that's how people make her feel. Well, wait, that makes sense. I just found that I was to be a different way. I'm trying to pick a certain way to be out of my mind, if that's alright. I also end up looking like the people I follow. Some things take awhile. 8|
Well, I guess that's an interesting "thing." I just felt that it was that she was more repsected, really, and she doesn't have to do anything to get stimulated. Well, she is rich. Why like rub it in? I mena, like that? Who's going to participate?
Also, why are people older than me more impressive? I mean with older parents? Well, they aren't all older than me.
I do want Nell Burton to be like her in a good way. I feel better about the sentiment, now. Why should I feel bad about myself? I DON'T DESERVE NOTHING. JUST FORGET IT! I think I'm my own person. I sorta did "what I was supposed to do," and I find myself on top.
Nell Burton is so like the most stimulated person in the world, feels so good about herself. Why is that suggestive to you? Suggestive to evolve into more "intelligence?" I guess that's "how it went." Hm. I'm at a blank and ready to have some fun now... I'm sorry if you want to complain about your childhood to me. R.I.P. <*>
So, Nell hasn't from those around her showed up herself to be like ready to present herself as wanting to be a certain way and is encouraged to be that way over me.
Hm, I have a picture of sisters with white hair, but I don't think those girls are the same, anymore. They're from Hollywood and moved to Florida.
Hm, when I was a baby I wasn't sexed up.
Bah! 8I
Well, I guess that's an interesting "thing." I just felt that it was that she was more repsected, really, and she doesn't have to do anything to get stimulated. Well, she is rich. Why like rub it in? I mena, like that? Who's going to participate?
Also, why are people older than me more impressive? I mean with older parents? Well, they aren't all older than me.
I do want Nell Burton to be like her in a good way. I feel better about the sentiment, now. Why should I feel bad about myself? I DON'T DESERVE NOTHING. JUST FORGET IT! I think I'm my own person. I sorta did "what I was supposed to do," and I find myself on top.
Nell Burton is so like the most stimulated person in the world, feels so good about herself. Why is that suggestive to you? Suggestive to evolve into more "intelligence?" I guess that's "how it went." Hm. I'm at a blank and ready to have some fun now... I'm sorry if you want to complain about your childhood to me. R.I.P. <*>
So, Nell hasn't from those around her showed up herself to be like ready to present herself as wanting to be a certain way and is encouraged to be that way over me.
Hm, I have a picture of sisters with white hair, but I don't think those girls are the same, anymore. They're from Hollywood and moved to Florida.
Hm, when I was a baby I wasn't sexed up.
Bah! 8I
I should have said it differently. ^0^
I just meant that you seem to have desires other than that which you entice.
Ellen DeGeneres
Why do you think you're so good, just a tool? Everything is a joke, something I wouldn't get up and do. What does that say about you? '8|
I don't know if where you're from is perfect.
Ah!
Leave me alone! I keep getting hints from my dad pressing things on me. Don't press them on me. Some things shouldn't happen. He wants me to be affected by his paying attention to me because of the n word thing. I don't want him. He's hurting me. I feel a lot of inner pressure. It's taking so much energy. It didn't before. It's only a mistake from the n word thing!
What are you doing? Stop ruining my life.
Oh, Ellen DeGeneres doesn't understand anything. She makes up things. Like, you have a picture up I guess and you look more like it. Also, I don't think I'm Native American. What if I am? It's not that much. I'm not like that. Most people must be more.
My dad needs to stop. He doesn't make sense. He's trying to get me into a trap.
I pay attention to different people and pick up bad things, but this is just really bad. It's because of lots of things, mainly the n word thing, which shouldn't matter and isn't caused by me. It doesn't matter because I was sent a message in an uncomfortable way to do it, and no one admits that. So, there is no issue, there, but there seems to be. I already solved that problem, and I wasn't being visious, so quit getting me that way. Look at my blog.
Why am I being bothered by other people? I can only guess that I'm becoming more aware in a Mickey Mouse way but an in a lot of turmoil and pressure. I don't feel I'm quite all there, neither, which is a good feeling.
So, I guess Ellen DeGeneres is sensitive about her short hair. I don't want to think she's better because of it. She's pretty good at sporting short hair. I haven't had much hair, lately, but I never wanted it that way. Maybe, I'll grow better hair, myself, if that's okay. Why do people think of things in weird ways, like oh it has to be white hair, not that it means anything. Everything isn't white. Gold is a more medium color to focus on. Dark hair is okay, though. I don't know if anyone really wants it. I think that people with medium brown hair are often different, like dirty blondes. Remember, before, in the 90s and probably before I'm pretty sure it was a big deal how dirty blondes sported their hair, or should I say medium blondes? Like, they had it lighter than some people, but like they sported it like dirt? Like they didn't even care? Oh well, bye for the moment.
I don't know if where you're from is perfect.
Ah!
Leave me alone! I keep getting hints from my dad pressing things on me. Don't press them on me. Some things shouldn't happen. He wants me to be affected by his paying attention to me because of the n word thing. I don't want him. He's hurting me. I feel a lot of inner pressure. It's taking so much energy. It didn't before. It's only a mistake from the n word thing!
What are you doing? Stop ruining my life.
Oh, Ellen DeGeneres doesn't understand anything. She makes up things. Like, you have a picture up I guess and you look more like it. Also, I don't think I'm Native American. What if I am? It's not that much. I'm not like that. Most people must be more.
My dad needs to stop. He doesn't make sense. He's trying to get me into a trap.
I pay attention to different people and pick up bad things, but this is just really bad. It's because of lots of things, mainly the n word thing, which shouldn't matter and isn't caused by me. It doesn't matter because I was sent a message in an uncomfortable way to do it, and no one admits that. So, there is no issue, there, but there seems to be. I already solved that problem, and I wasn't being visious, so quit getting me that way. Look at my blog.
Why am I being bothered by other people? I can only guess that I'm becoming more aware in a Mickey Mouse way but an in a lot of turmoil and pressure. I don't feel I'm quite all there, neither, which is a good feeling.
So, I guess Ellen DeGeneres is sensitive about her short hair. I don't want to think she's better because of it. She's pretty good at sporting short hair. I haven't had much hair, lately, but I never wanted it that way. Maybe, I'll grow better hair, myself, if that's okay. Why do people think of things in weird ways, like oh it has to be white hair, not that it means anything. Everything isn't white. Gold is a more medium color to focus on. Dark hair is okay, though. I don't know if anyone really wants it. I think that people with medium brown hair are often different, like dirty blondes. Remember, before, in the 90s and probably before I'm pretty sure it was a big deal how dirty blondes sported their hair, or should I say medium blondes? Like, they had it lighter than some people, but like they sported it like dirt? Like they didn't even care? Oh well, bye for the moment.
White People
You all don't really have everything you like should. Don't get mad at me because you presented something a certain way. Some people won't contend to life. Don't complain to me for your decisions because it's too late. You can change, but you're not, I see.
Halloween 8| [*]
I asked my dad to order my costume before! He didn't, though! Why? Why'd he ruin my life? What is he, some kind of sissy? >8< It will supposedly be delivered on the 23-29. I WANT IT. It's just a little costume from eBay. Why do you think you deserve to dress up? I didn't get any clothes this month! '8I Will you weird people leave me alone? Oh, you don't really dress up on Halloween, so it doesn't matter, eh? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DAD? HE'S GONNA DIE AND LEAVE ME AND GO TO HEAVEN? WHY? You all don't deserve to make any statements. You all deserve to *beep* for ruining my life! I'll just ruin yours! Wait, will I? Isn't your life already ruined? You deserve to be punished. For ruining others's lives. Stop doing twisted things to stimulate my life in suggestive ways that are shitty. Your life should be ... in a different way... Please, don't sit here and play word games like there's no tomorrow. You just back off. You weird person who thinks that you're so smart. Just go away, you can't be someone else. You can't play around with me. Not like that... I don't feel well and don't know what to type. Stop ruining my life. You're not my mother ... hey, and don't interfere with my other relationships. Stop, making me type this stuff! '8E Hey! Just go away and leave me alone. I want you to be t******* forever! Stop! You can't make someone else the princess. Stop saying I don't deserve this and that. Next time I see you, you're gonna act like it's okay again.
Ellen DeGeneres is mean. Your messages are not good. This is all ruined because of the n word thing, and you can't ruin my life because of it. I'm not gonna say I'm not on some accord. Why do you affect me so? Anyway, why are you so antsy about if I will like submit to guilt from it? I am very mad. I don't need my dad in this way. I'm 26 and responsible. Why can't you accept what that means? Why do I "have to say it?" What's wrong with you? Why are you wasting everybody's time?'
WHEN I FEEL BAD, SOMETIMES I'M PRETTY SURE I HEAR LITTLE NOISES. WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU'D ALL DIE!
Ellen DeGeneres is mean. Your messages are not good. This is all ruined because of the n word thing, and you can't ruin my life because of it. I'm not gonna say I'm not on some accord. Why do you affect me so? Anyway, why are you so antsy about if I will like submit to guilt from it? I am very mad. I don't need my dad in this way. I'm 26 and responsible. Why can't you accept what that means? Why do I "have to say it?" What's wrong with you? Why are you wasting everybody's time?'
WHEN I FEEL BAD, SOMETIMES I'M PRETTY SURE I HEAR LITTLE NOISES. WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU'D ALL DIE!
Never! '80
Ellen DeGeneres, quit ruining my life because of the n word thing! You can't dictate what you want me to feel from my dad! What the Hell? What do you think you're doing! '80
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